Christian Dating

Subtitle

Christian Dating - The Biggest Dating Mistake To Avoid

Most true Christians view dating as the first steps toward marriage, this is not to say they should be planning the wedding itself on the first date, but it does mean that as a Christian, you ought to keep in mind that the person you date may indeed be the one you will fall in love with, and marry.

Essentially, what Christian dating is, is dating with marriage in mind.  It is true of course that in society there are those who embark upon on a date without remaining open to the possibility of falling in love, there is nothing wrong with this, but this would certainly not be seen as a Christian date!  Whereupon, this  leads us to the biggest Christian dating mistake :

  • Mistake Number 1 - Dating Without Romance In Mind

The greatest dating mistake many Christians make is they are not going on true Christian dates at all. You may well be dating another Christian and taking part in Christian activities or going to Christian places together, but if your date is not carried out within the framework of Christian ethics, in particular about how Christians treat other people, this cannot be seen as Christian dating.

Quite often Christians ask someone they like out on a romantic date, when all they are really seeking is just someone to go out with as a friend.  As a Christian dating someone, it would be wrong of you to want that person to be with you simply because they are attractive or it boosts your ego when others see you with them.  Also, your date should not solely be company on what may otherwise be a lonely night for you.Imagine the situation where you have one person seeing the other as a potential husband or wife, whilst the other views them as only a potential friend, this with no doubt will lead to obvious complications.

Amongst Christian dating, this mistake is made time and time again and could well be a result from the lack of sexual pressure.  Realizing and abiding by the strict Christian dating rules which forbid sex prior to marriage, it is easy for one to find themselves in "friend" mode rather than being in "potential spouse" mode.
Now of course when a couple are married, the husband and wife are both friends to each other, but when a friendship is built upon these strong Christian foundations of romantic love, then this friendship is a special one

  • Differences Between Christian And Non-Christian Dating

The first difference is an easy one and it is that Christians are not going to have sexual contact on the date and may also choose not to kiss.
Other differences lie in how the couple view each other, imagine in your mind two friends going out together for a meal or meeting for a catch up, compared to a Christian couple on a date, the two friends treat each other accordingly as they both share the same feeling of being friends. The Christian couple should be viewing each other as romantic dates and not only just friends.

If say a man and woman, who were just friends, went out for a meal and during this time one of them began to see their friend as a date, unless the other has the same feeling, this could lead to an awkward and uncomfortable position.  The same would go for a Christian couple where one sees their date as a true date but the other sees them as a friend.  In Christian terms one would not therefore be caring for the others feelings or protecting the others heart from hurt.

If you want to deter yourself from making this biggest Christian dating mistake, simply make sure you are going on a true Christian date.
Make sure that you're not just arranging time out with a friend but rather a romantic date. When thinking about asking that particular someone out on a date, check firstly that you can visualise yourself in a happy and romantic relationship with this person.
Don't fall prey to being a Christian who knows someone they like as a friend and so in turn thinks to ask them out on a date, when you only have the idea that maybe 'sometime' in the future things 'might' get romantic.
Christians are aware that romance does not imply having sex, but that dating should mean romance - right from the very first date.

We hope that this information is of benefit to you and would like to suggest you visit christiandatinggateway.com to learn far more on various topics within Christian dating.  Here, along with some great advice, you will also find many useful free resources to discover and to use.May God Bless You on your journey.

Does God Need My Help In Finding My Christian Dating Partner?

Many Christians do have hesitations when it comes to the use of introductory services such as online dating websites, some feel it may conflict with their sincere motives.

Online Christian dating websites and office based Christian dating agencies along with Churches, grocery stores, employment agencies, counseling agencies, vehicle dealerships, schools etc, are all "vehicles" which God uses to bring together people who can offer their services, help and products to one-another, but remember that He will lead you to them, and not vice-versa.
As a Christian you serve a God who is in control, but not performing as a puppeteer.

Some conflicting concerns with the use of introductory services may well include the following:

Concern 1.

"Being Untrusting Of God"

By using a service like this some Christians feel that you may be "not trusting of God" or "taking matters into your own hands" and "not being a man or a woman of faith".  It is understandable as they believe God is suppose to introduce that person into your life, without having to be involved in the process.
They might argue that God is aware of your deepest needs and desires, additionally, wouldn't He recognise the best timing for meeting your partner?
Refering to Matt (6:33) to back up their concern, "Seek first God's Kingdom and all these things will be added unto you".
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A possible answer ... yes, of course. God knows and some would even add that He has pre-determined who it is we are to meet, when and how we will meet them.  However, justification for the lack of human inactivity should never be used as an excuse against God's sovereignty.  

To be passive and sanctified has never been part of a Christian's behavioral standards, at no point did Jesus say to people "You must sit and wait" - quite the opposite in fact, he commanded people to "Follow Him".  He suggested they be active in the pursuit of His Kingdom, His Will and the pursuit of Him.

Lets have a look at practical examples:

If say, a friend of yours lost their job, would you think it encouraging to advise them to sit around and wait for a magical force to make their next employer appear? Many wouldn't believe it, they would encourage the opposite and suggest being active by means of sending out resumes and making telephone calls etc.
Rightly so, people would be encouraged in being active in the search for God's Will.  It will not point towards a lack of faith or trust in God, but rather show as an act of obedience as this is a faithful activity, and remains so as you partner with God during your life.
 
To put groceries on your shelves, you must do the shopping - they won't magically appear there by themselves.  To have gasoline in your car's fuel tank, you need to locate and drive to a gas station and then put gas in the tank yourself, again it doesn't just magically fill itself up.
One must be active during this time of responsibly seeking out what it is God has in store for us in this life.

It is thought the idea of being passive or sanctified emerges in dating relationship areas because of it's entanglement with fantasy and romantic involvement. Think of the classic tale we are told as children - The Knight in shining armor who rides up to you on his white horse. You open your eyes, after having prayed, and there they are sitting right next to you on the church pew.
These tales are man's made up wish/dream and not true to real life, also it is not God's intention and not His style.

As God is sovereign in all areas of life and if you follow and pursue Him, God promises to lead you into His Will.  Although He does not propose or encourage for us to live a life believing all happens "as if by magic",  every now and then demonstrations of spectacular introductions do occur.  Still, you should not become over-romanticized, like non-believers, by these seemingly miraculous unions.


Concern 2.

"Only Desperate People Use Dating Services, Right?"

It may be fair to say that "desperate" or "hurt" and "needy" folk are indeed attracted to these types of introduction services, it remains that the mere fact of them actually being attracted should not disqualify the credibility, validity or use of those service providers to those of you who are not "desperate".

There is a big dilemma facing Christians in most their lives today which is:
There are very few "vehicles" available to Christians which enable the meeting of other single, emotionally stable and healthy Christians.  People who are non-believers use their ways of partying, dances and bar scenes to meet plenty of other single people.
Also, it is not favored to see the Church as some sort of "dating agency" and where you could meet potential dates, therefore it does not become an option for those who see worship as having the purpose to be in the presence of God.
 
Are you worried about encountering a "desperate" person on a Christian dating website?  Although it is likely, that is when you will recognise why good strong relationship skills are required, to be able to become "alerted" to the possible pit-falls of certain relationship dangers.
Being able to recognize such alerts will help you in getting answers to the important questions, such as you believing you are indeed relationship-ready, and your partner too, questions which need answering before beginning a Christian relationship with someone.

Should you feel more comfortable or have discovered different ways to meet Christian singles, that is perfectly fine, maybe share it with others!
Remember even if you do not need the help of services like online Christian dating, do not to let such cultural comments like the ones mentioned above, distract you from being led by God into the "vehicles" He has there for you.

May God bless you in your journey.